Intro Intro

I am incredibly lazy, and instead of writing original content for my about page, I will simply copy-paste my common application. I never ended up applying to any university with it, but I do think it does an ok job at representing me and my personality.

Void

Each step is no more complicated than the last, a simple motion, a progression in thought. Walking is always different and never distinct. When walking, the world becomes a void and nothing more than a background to the universes in your head. In my universe, there is a shining star.

Meaning

Outside of religion and higher powers, the justifications for natural laws and moral rights feel like 4th-dimensional mental gymnastics. One of the more debated philosophical concepts is the simple question, “what is the meaning of life?” Religion’s more innate and extraordinary power is that it provides meaning to life, but without it, one finds ideologies that vary in quality. If you were to ask some hitchhiker this question, you might get something as random as the number 42. 3rd-century philosopher saint Augustine believed that God is good and the word of God is good; anything outside of God and his teachings is the source of evil. A life without God creates a void, and that void, I believe, is often misrepresented. The philosophical emptiness of nihilism.

Nihilism

Urban dictionary defines nihilistic as “A word that nobody really knows what it actually means but is often used by [pretentious]book and film [critics]so that they can feel [smug].” While this is not an actual definition, it alludes to the mysticism surrounding the term. Nihilism is paradoxical in meaning. Nihilism paints the world with a colourless black brush—an empty yet endless void of meaning. A belief in nothing is still a belief in something. Nihilism is a physiological response to suffering. Suffering is only worsened by the idea that resisting is futile and pointless. In accordance with the development of nihilism, my path began as a response to the things I could not control. “blood is thicker than water.” My elders always told me. A belief that family, that blood was the essential thing in life, that meaning was derived from such. By the time I was born, there was already a void in my blood.

Blood

My blood in fatherhood had long since run stale to the ruin of time. Soon after, the blood in my grandmother breathed its last breath. My blood in maternity was quick to be forgotten. My Ethiopian heritage became nothing more than a box to check on forms and applications. A checkbox that meant nothing since I had already lost all semblance of culture. The prospect that blood was of the highest importance was a void I could not fill.

Rejection

Under nihilism, there can be a certain level of optimism in rejecting that anything has innate value; you can set those values. I put my values into reaching the stars, constantly reaching for new knowledge and higher understanding with each breath. This value system, while beneficial educationally, still failed to fill the void. I grew up in a universe that never felt like my own, an alien lost in the stars. In my search for meaning, I found other “aliens,” people who differ in beliefs, ideologies, and blood. I found a universe of scholars, creators, and dreamers. I was able to fill my void with a community. A community that taught me a lesson my elders had inaccurately informed me. “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” The bonds we choose to make with those around us are more valuable than the ones we are born with.

Each religion and word of God throughout history are retellings of the value of community to educate individuals on how to live righteously. Eventually, I had to leave my universe of aliens so we could return to our homes. I remain still an alien, but with the hope that through education, I can one day create a universe of my own so that other aliens do not have to walk alone and gaze into an endless void and instead see their stars.